this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize