is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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