i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
