Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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