No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
