Ketchup is God's man juice
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i think im in europe. pls send help
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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