I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
