Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
