The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
