I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
