A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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