New low: just hacked my moms facebook
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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