I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
