we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
