He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
