she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
