Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
