Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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