Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
