just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
