Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
