i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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