I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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