I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
