I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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