I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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