I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
