There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
