Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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