Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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