Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
