I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
