I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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