We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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