I think I am morally bankrupt
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
