bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
