Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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