why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
