This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
