I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
