Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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