You're my little dorito
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
