Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
