Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
