just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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