why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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