xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
