Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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