Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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