I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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