there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
