I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Mom said you looked used
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
