please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you will always have a special place in my vag
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
