Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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