hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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